My last picture in Korea
So today marks the anniversary of me leaving and going on my round the world trip (first with just Erica and then Erica, Liz, and Kirsten)....What an experience. Life changing and then I came home and that was a whole other adventure. As you could tell if you've been reading this, it hasn't been particularly happy. I really needed to be home in the beginning and be with my family because not only had I been gone for a year but I also hadn't lived in SC since high school. I really wanted to have that experience...and to tell you the truth, I hadn't thought of what else I should do. It was wonderful to be home at the time I was because there was a lot of family stuff going on, which really felt rewarding for me to be there for. Also, I got to have a better relationship with my cousins and of course, my immediate family. All good things...
So today marks the anniversary of me leaving and going on my round the world trip (first with just Erica and then Erica, Liz, and Kirsten)....What an experience. Life changing and then I came home and that was a whole other adventure. As you could tell if you've been reading this, it hasn't been particularly happy. I really needed to be home in the beginning and be with my family because not only had I been gone for a year but I also hadn't lived in SC since high school. I really wanted to have that experience...and to tell you the truth, I hadn't thought of what else I should do. It was wonderful to be home at the time I was because there was a lot of family stuff going on, which really felt rewarding for me to be there for. Also, I got to have a better relationship with my cousins and of course, my immediate family. All good things...I'd say the most challenging part of this year hasn't been living at home or not finding a job, it has been not having a lot of friends to share it with. Now I have friends in Greenville, two friends since high school particularly and a cluster of acquaintances I have met, but it's just very different with them. It's not the kind of friendship where I can say "Hey let's go to the movies or this new restaurant or this concert." I had been spoiled in college and in Korea by having lots of friends or at least acquaintances around me a lot, who wanted to do things spontaneously. And after I had been home awhile and the holidays were over and I didn't have a job, I really needed friends...I just needed people to do stuff with! msyelf for a long time and not feel alone, but as soon as I'm out in public by myself I feel more alone! Funny how that is. That has been my biggest grievance with this whole year.
A friend of mine who I taught in Korea asked me what is more important? Environment or people? My answer has always been people.
So I'm comparing this year of my life to the six season of Buffy (without that weird Spike relationship)
...I felt pretty similar to Buffy and I know I'm not the only one- lost, unmotivated, and melancholy. But you know what, things are looking up! This next year will be like the seven season of Buffy (without that weird Spike relationship)...and maybe I'll save the world from apocalypse again...who knows.
3 comments:
I need to watch Buffy Season Six. I watched Seasons 1-5 in like, 2 months, and I have to finish!!!! Then I will understand everything here.
*hugs*
I understand what you are going through. I love you and you deserve to be happy and be with people and in a place where you don't feel alone! Anytime you can get away come to NYC and I will take you out and we will have a blast!
"The pain that you feel can only heal by living." So go out and live! You'll get through this.
I miss you!
This is such a perfect comparison! Although, I don't want to exclude Spike... haha
I love that question too - I remember thinking "Both, but environment mostly, you can always keep in touch and meet new people!"
I think SO differently now (and after a while did then too, I think,)
Good for you for blogging too - I've really given up on that, whoops!
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